I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
