your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I think your dad took our porno
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Randomize
