The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
