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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  Sadly, she's the porn star that got away

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Two dicks, one me.

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Yoga's definitely paying off.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?

  (1-206): View more from Washington

  That was me Mom...

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.

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