i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
