omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
