Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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