Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
