I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
