I puked a lego.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
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just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize