She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
