To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
