what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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