Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
