I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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