Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
