I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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