I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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