thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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