TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
