awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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