thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You took a bar mat shot.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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