The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize