First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize