So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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