I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
