Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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