Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm always down for nudity.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
