It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
