I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
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you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
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I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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