Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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