I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
that is very illegal...i love you.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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