i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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