Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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