i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
