It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize