My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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