Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
So vagazzling was a success
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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