DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
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Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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