I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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