I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize