i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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