I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
