the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
