this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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