Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.

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(703): in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry. http://tfl.nu/nber

Replies (2) Good night (4264) Bad night (712)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...

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(503): I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me... http://tfl.nu/6tu6

Replies (21) Good night (6424) Bad night (734)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone

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(414): we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone http://tfl.nu/fyy6

Replies (32) Good night (7116) Bad night (858)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"

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(978): please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker" http://tfl.nu/kgaf

Replies (15) Good night (2071) Bad night (5533)
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(903): View more from Texas

Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.

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(903): Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later. http://tfl.nu/bq2x

Replies (14) Good night (7248) Bad night (1052)
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(248): View more from Michigan

They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"

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(248): They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick" http://tfl.nu/5fi0

Replies (13) Good night (4742) Bad night (962)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes

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(773): Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes http://tfl.nu/y66v

Replies (27) Good night (4793) Bad night (1082)
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(636): View more from Missouri

Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night

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(636): Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night http://tfl.nu/yir7

Replies (23) Good night (3292) Bad night (1578)
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(712): View more from Iowa

in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.

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(712): in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am. http://tfl.nu/pxzm

Replies (5) Good night (2524) Bad night (1114)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick

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(484): Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick http://tfl.nu/a0s8

Replies (6) Good night (783) Bad night (2107)
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(912): View more from Georgia

thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.

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(912): thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit. http://tfl.nu/e0ki

Replies (12) Good night (1178) Bad night (817)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.

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(717): Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together. http://tfl.nu/4ceo

Replies (6) Good night (1415) Bad night (438)
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(915): View more from Texas

I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?

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(915): I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like? http://tfl.nu/163q

Replies (5) Good night (318) Bad night (801)
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(480): View more from Arizona

Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary

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(480): Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary http://tfl.nu/ompd

Replies (3) Good night (287) Bad night (510)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.

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(864): Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that. http://tfl.nu/xcwk

Replies (1) Good night (222) Bad night (478)

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