there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.