smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
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If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants