i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
