Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(636): View more from Missouri

I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes

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(512): View more from Texas

Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...

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(727): View more from Florida

I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?

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(703): View more from Virginia

We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(339): View more from Massachusetts

just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.

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(903): View more from Texas

Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe

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(650): View more from California

She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine

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(208): View more from Idaho

I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year

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(434): View more from Virginia

I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.

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