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• (925): View more from California

  make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.

  Fav 36 4661 1013

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave

  Fav 45 5866 1093

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.

  Fav 13 6499 1709

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."

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• (760): View more from California

  Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly

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• (818): View more from California

  I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...

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• (206): View more from Washington

  There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.

  (1-206): View more from Washington

  First world problems.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask

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• (954): View more from Florida

  On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"

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