nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I skipped work to stalk him.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Ladies don't puke and tell
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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