I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
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I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance