Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
