I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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