i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week