My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
