you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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