I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Randomize
