Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
