some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
