he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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