we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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