found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
