i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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